Everything in my life is good....well as good as can be expected for now. With the economy being a bummer, having a job that makes you happy is not so much of a priority anymore...having a job IS! I am happy to have one and it is a good job. I am able to come and go as I please, take time off without the guilt trip and I work really well on my own but it is just not cutting it for me. I have been going to school for three years now, aimlessly taking classes in the hope that I will stumble on something I really like, but it just seems to be an endless array of classes that add up to nothin. Well almost nothin.... I do have 30 credits out of 60 needed for any associates degree. I think the issue I have is this day and age it is too hard to just have one thing. I have this desire to pack in as much information as I can get in the hopes that, should I ever need it, I will be able to recall what I have learned and use it.
I don't know where I got this odd point of view but I am sure it came from my parents. They both had a very defined specialty that ended up also defining their lives. I don't know if that is the route I want to go. I am kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of girl and feel that being restricted to one skill is like a death sentance. The question is how do you maintain a normal life while trying to hone ten skills at once? The answer.....INSANITY!
That is it. I am insane! I can't settle to one thing, I am always wanting to do something new, I do get bored easily but you would never know it and I try too hard. The result of this is that I am difficult to deal with and feel sometimes that it isolates me from the rest of the world. How do you change that? How do people, ones that recognize there is a flaw in their personality that greatly affects their lives, make a life changing adjustment to reality? That is the big question.
A very good friend once said to me "you have to take action and then commit to those actions. Bad habits are easy to break but hard to live with while good habits are hard to make and easy to live with." He is a genius....and he also has had a very specific skill since he was young and has slowly, through hard work and fortitude, built his way to the top in a job he loves and a life he thrives in. Go figure!
Side note: Visiting this after a long hiatus and reviewing posts that I did not actually publish....this being one of them. The friend mentioned above has since passed in a tragic way. Too young, very missed and yet I am comforted by his words coming to me in this post. He was wise and so very loved. His name was Scott and he was amazing. He lived every day as if there was no tomorrow. He had passion for his family, music, the little eccentricities of life and taught me more than I knew at the time. He was one of a kind. What I take from this is that you never know when your last day is. Hug the ones you love. Never go to bed angry and always make sure that you greet each day as if the sun shines just for you. I now know that I have a beam of sunshine following me through life....fashioned from love and beaming just for me.
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