To start, all those things you saved for your children, the trinkets and mementos of their school years, the jewelry box with their names or stuffed animal they wouldn't go to sleep without.....these are just things. I tried so hard to keep things I thought they would want but when my girls were presented with their boxes, there was only one or two things that made them chuckle. I have learned that the things a parent feels are important to keep are not the things your children would have chosen. Get rid of them! Sit down with your kids and force them to go through the boxes and have them be the decision makers on items you have more attachment to than they do. Your memories of these items are for you and have nothing to do with how they see them. Pick one or two things and then have them make the decision on the rest.
However many boxes you have, take them out once in awhile and go through them. Pick out the things you still are unsure about and want to still keep, put them in a new box and then talk to your kids about the rest. These days it is easy to send a picture of a note from a teacher or crush, an item they loved etc. They can then tell you to get rid of it. Surprisingly, they will not have the same reaction you do to said item. This process condenses maybe three boxes down to one. Purging is good for everyone but there is another benefit of this process. As your kids get older, they realize that some things they were afraid to tell you when they were younger, just don't hold that much importance anymore. You can use this process to share funny stories of how they were as kids. They may have snuck out and you never knew it. They might have been bullied or been in love but you didn't notice. It is important for you and them to be quiet and let them share these stories without judgement and frustration. You may get a great laugh out of them and I find, as I am sharing little details with my youngest, that their version of what happened is totally different. I notice that my girls were way smarter than I gave them credit for. The things they remember are funny, heartbreaking and completely different than my version of events. This, of course, doesn't mean that either one of you is wrong, it just shows the diversity of how things are viewed and each person's story is unique to themselves.
I saved school notes, homework, graded tests and projects they brought home. My mom did the same thing and I didn't realize that they wouldn't want those things. The things they thought were funny were the hilarious notes where they were mad at us or each other and they made statements like "I am never talking to you again" or "if I find my shirt on your floor one more time I am going to kill you!". These are things that bring me joy when I can share them and have a good laugh over them. I realize that there is value in saving some of these things and it is a process that one must go through. It doesn't mean you have to keep everything because, let's be honest here, not many people live in the same house they raised their kids in still. Garages see like a thing of the past and children move often, throwing their things out that don't fit in their car as they can just get new ones to replace them. Times have changed but that doesn't mean you have to stop saving little things. Pick and choose what is important to you and let the rest go. It is liberating! It is necessary! It is a process of Empty Nesting.
